Confess your 'ol coffee sins!

sistabarista

It's time to come clean! Have a confession to make about some newbie coffee making shockers?  :o  That reheated milk or preloaded basket? Not for the purpose of hating on ourselves but perhaps we can help others avoid the same cringe-worthy blunders....I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.... ;D

Seeya Latte

When I first started out all I had was a Bialetti stovetop and to create the illusion of crema I would use the first drop of coffee and mix it in a shot glass which had a bit of sugar. I'd whip it like crazy til I got a syrup then I'd use that as my sugar for the coffee and it would form a top layer of instant crema!

Brett H

After years if enjoying the townsvile cupofcino (heAped dessert spoon of InternationL roast in a mug of milk microwaved for 2mins on high) I decided that the Mr Espresso Black and Decker was just the ticket to take me to Latte heaven.  The label clearly said not to use milk in it which I naturally took as meaning: "we are hoping you'll never discover the awesomeness of using milk because you will become better at coffee than the Black and Decker company." The resulting explosion put me off espresso until I had finished Uni four years later!

UNM

on 1329478922:

When I first started out all I had was a Bialetti stovetop and to create the illusion of crema I would use the first drop of coffee and mix it in a shot glass which had a bit of sugar. I'd whip it like crazy til I got a syrup then I'd use that as my sugar for the coffee and it would form a top layer of instant crema!

Err, not quite sure that is a sin, might just be innovation at work. Not that I "do sugar" myself, but I can sort of imagine it working. Myself, I have never sinned in such a way. If only I could contribute more to this thread  :-[

sistabarista

on 1329479886:

After years if enjoying the townsvile cupofcino (heAped dessert spoon of InternationL roast in a mug of milk microwaved for 2mins on high)

Haha Brett H I have many British rellies who still drink this evil concoction! As far as the milk in the Black & Decker I think it's just human nature to want to break all the rules, we still think we are smarter than the machine! :D LOVE your resourcefulness SL, it's kinda like when you're a kid learning to whistle and you make that high pitched humming sound you hope will pass for a whistle  but I'm sure the resulting drink would not be at all bad! My first 'cafe job' was as a 16 yo work experience kid in a rather average coffee shop, where the measure of a great barista was how high you could get your cappucino froth  ::) remember that marshmallow man from Ghost Busters....? Oh and if the leftover milk in the jug had gone a little tepid of course you would just give a little pepping up with a shot or two of steam....Oh the shame!! Wish I could personally apologise to any victims of those coffees.... but hopefully in the last 12 years or so they have been able to work through the trauma......

sistabarista

on 1329480300:

Err, not quite sure that is a sin, might just be innovation at work. Not that I "do sugar" myself, but I can sort of imagine it working. Myself, I have never sinned in such a way. If only I could contribute more to this thread  :-[ [/quote I take my hat off to you UNM  ^-^

shape_shifter

I love froth, the more the better and if I can get a meringue texture I'm in heaven  :coffee2:

Dry_bean.

I'm a lover of cream, the richer the better, shortly after buying my Silvia/Rocky combo (well over 10 years ago) and becoming moderately proficient at steaming milk I decided that if milk was good when steamed then perhaps a combination of milk and cream may be even better, biiiiiig mistake :-[ it turned into a horrible curdled mess, if there was an upchuck smiley I'd use it :-[ PS Sis, your like a breath of fresh air, some one needed to inject a little levity into this place, we all tend to take ourselves way too seriously here, thanks. :thumb:

sistabarista

Good on you AM  :thumb: I hope you feel a whole lot lighter as you go on your way today, now you have got all that off your chest? haha! love the citrus peel idea, classic!! But forgive my ignorance, pray do tell what is an MM?? Was just lamenting to hubby this morning that I am still drinking Moccona for breakfast  :'( how can I call myself a real barista? But then I console myself in the fact that it's a different beverage altogether.....it's not like I'm trying to pretend it's an espresso....anyways, I'm just so stubborn I won't give in to buying a cheap machine that will end up in my next garage sale....it's all or nothing! So will keep slaving away til I can justify an 'investment' piece  ;D On a slight tangent from original topic, some of my customers over the years have committed some absolute CORKERS! One of the worst from memory was a lovely guy who would regularly visit the franchise where I worked and order his small latte with CARAMEL AND 4 SUGARS!  ??? (HEEEEAVE)..... I mean seriously what is the point? You might as well have a coke!

sistabarista

on 1329517791:

I'm a lover of cream, the richer the better, shortly after buying my Silvia/Rocky combo (well over 10 years ago) and becoming moderately proficient at steaming milk I decided that if milk was good when steamed then perhaps a combination of milk and cream may be even better, biiiiiig mistake :-[ it turned into a horrible curdled mess, if there was an upchuck smiley I'd use it :-[ PS Sis, your like a breath of fresh air, some one needed to inject a little levity into this place, we all tend to take ourselves way too seriously here, thanks. :thumb:

HAHA DB well it's probably a good thing it turned out so bad? It COULD have turned out awesome and you'd be hooked on drinking cardiac arrest in a cup? And thanks for the kind words, I think we are all too busy being important sometimes! Having a good laugh at ourselves is definitely good for the bones 

Dry_bean.

on 1329516504:

7: I have been known to put a bit of zest of an orange in the puck and make comment as to how great the citrus is in that roast  :rofl:  ( works with a few different products and some of the stuck up rels)

A slice of lemon used to be de rigueur with black coffee, wonder how a full slice of lemon or lime would go placed on top of the puck prior to extraction, might give it a go later on :-|

Brett H

I love this thread... Great idea!  Now who is ready to confess tea leaves in the portafilter?  I personally love the idea as a way of riding the world of tea and 'sticking it' to the tea drinking fanatic fraternity.  My family has several Grand Poo-Bar tea aficionadi for whom this would be a great way to inflict their beverage!

UNM

Brett, I remember reading ages ago about rooibos tea extracted exactly like that. OT I know, but Sis - your signature might be an interesting name for a cafe.

sistabarista

on 1329522531:

Sis - your signature might be an interesting name for a cafe.

You think so?! It's a cutesie name my big brother gave me haha  :D but these things have a funny way of playing out. Guess that would mean i'll have to share my millions with him? You guys could be onto something with this tea trend? As long as you start an exclusive clique to go along with it...

mycuppa

2 of my commercial roaster friends who will remain nameless, but they have their own companies..........One is called Spanker (because he can at times tell *stories*), the other is called Scorcherer (because he spends too much time on the phone and misses the end of the roast.....you can guess what happens next) and they called me Spurt (because I'm a know it all expert). One Friday afternoon a few years ago, Spanker, Scorcherer and Spurt were debating whether it was possible to extract vodka through the espresso machine. That is, instead of filling with water, we would try vodka. Spurt accesses his vast knowledge base, performs a risk assessment and weighs the probability and impact too high - you guys are crazy. Spanker is a dangerous man - he can be very determined and as he only drinks vodka and coffee, this was driving his desire way too high. Scorcherer just likes to see what happens - always up for a good event. Spanker pulls an old mostly defective Sunbeam EM6910 from his shelves and offers it up as the sacrificial machine should Spurt's assumption be realised. to be continued...........

Koffee_Kosmo

I remember visiting my Aunty she always offered the kids Pablo Instant coffee because she felt Greek/Turkish coffee was to strong for us Grandma did the opposite  :angel: KK

soloespresso

on 1329527184:

One Friday afternoon a few years ago, Spanker, Scorcherer and Spurt were debating whether it was possible to extract vodka through the espresso machine. That is, instead of filling with water, we would try vodka.

interesting, I can definitely see the potential of this with a machine which you can pid to 65 deg...

UNM

I thought cold drip was the way to do vodka/coffee brewing.

Kelsey

MyCuppa! You can't leave it at that!

askthecoffeeguy

In the eighties I worked in a well known Melbourne based Italian restaurant (hint at the time of opening it sold more Veuve Clicquot than any other venu anywhere in the world!) - with an old(er) Italian barista named Mimo Anyway Mimo was in charge of the coffee machines and there were two of them running back to back - and when the rush was on he would run coffee through the already spent coffee puck to get a 'second extraction' - slop some super heated (and reheated) milk on top, sprinkle it with chocolate - and out it would go! And I'll never forget that when mobile phones were first introduced - service on the floor of the restaurant was so slow (I was behind the bar) that one day a reporter from the Herald Sun actually phoned in his coffee order - and the next day there was an actual article in the Sun along the lines of: "so if you want a coffee at................you are better off phoning it in as the wait for service at the table is abysmal..." 

DoubleRistretto

on 1329527184:

Spanker is a dangerous man - he can be very determined and as he only drinks vodka and coffee, this was driving his desire way too high. Scorcherer just likes to see what happens - always up for a good event. Spanker pulls an old mostly defective Sunbeam EM6910 from his shelves and offers it up as the sacrificial machine should Spurt's assumption be realised. to be continued...........

my main sin is not cleaning my espresso machine often enough - probably only once every three-four months  :o ... can't wait for the second installment of Mycuppa's vodka story... dR