PIF - Make me laugh to win

Muscles · October 2011

A PIF with a twist

I love a funny story and haven't heard a good one in a while. I also have a dosing funnel that I haven't used taking up drawer space so..... post a funny real story that either directly involves you or that you were there to see and the person who makes me laugh the hardest will win an Orphan Espresso dosing funnel as seen here: http://gqsmooth.com.au/2011/09/dosing-funnels-keeping-coffee-clean/
Note, it's the funnel, not the cylinder.

I'll pick a winner Sunday 30th Oct and will cover postage too!

Koffee_Kosmo · October 2011

I say paint the Yogurt cup :-* Anyway the way I see it is the more rubbish the more business I get ( I have a cleaning business) So get dirty KK

Kelsey · October 2011

What makes this story a little special is that it involves two members of the forum, but from a time so long ago, the very idea of this type of forum was but a glint in a young programmer's eye.... BrettH and I used to keep fish. Still do, in fact, although he still has his 6 foot tank from our uni days together while mine has been lost to time and girlfriends past. Back in those days, he kept a fairly aggressive (but dumb) set of Oscars that he taught to jump for their food from his outstretched hand when they were but little fry. Not such a great maneuver for longevity though, as by the time they were full grown they would regularly crash through the glass cover plates in an attempt to snag a passing moth. Brett would be regularly awoken by the need to rescue an errant Oscar that had smashed right through to the other side.... Only to land on Brett's carpet. We came home to a few dried Oscars also. But I digress.... My own tank was a little more modest and I had somewhat less success in my initial attempts with the life aquatic. We would regularly attempt to catch local native fish down in Kedron creek, armed only with Brett's Kmart crayfish net. We're both tall - I'm 6'1" and Brett's at least 6'3". In those days we were also as both skinny as rakes - unfortunately and area in which I have now exceeded him greatly! So despite the cammo pants, black T-Shirt and fishing knife strapped to my leg, he and I didn't exactly cut imposing figures wading through the creekbed of a fairly notorious park in the middle of the night. Certainly the cops didn't think so. They'd bailed me up at the top of the creek wanting to know what I was doing with a knife in the middle of the night in that particular park. "it's a fishing knife!", I exclaimed. "And the other knife?" "errrr..." I'd forgotten the small paring knife that was on the outside of the sheath. Together they looked a little nasty. "Another fishing knife?". This wasn't looking good. Very firmly I was told to assume the position against a nearby tree for a thorough frisking. Just then, Brett burst from the creekbed. The cops whirled on him and told him in no uncertain terms to stay right the hell where he was. They asked him what we were doing. "Fishing! Look, I'll go get the net!" By by then it was too late. They'd taken in his baggy jumper and the likely looks of clueless na

Kelsey · October 2011

If you hadn't guessed I've been wanting to experiment with the Weiss distribution technique and really want that dosing funnel. :D

Brett H · October 2011

on 1319345907:

What makes this story a little special is that it involves two members of the forum, but from a time so long ago, the very idea of this type of forum was but a glint in a young programmer's eye.... BrettH and I used to keep fish. Still do, in fact, although he still has his 6 foot tank from our uni days together while mine has been lost to time and girlfriends past. Back in those days, he kept a fairly aggressive (but dumb) set of Oscars that he taught to jump for their food from his outstretched hand when they were but little fry. Not such a great maneuver for longevity though, as by the time they were full grown they would regularly crash through the glass cover plates in an attempt to snag a passing moth. Brett would be regularly awoken by the need to rescue an errant Oscar that had smashed right through to the other side.... Only to land on Brett's carpet. We came home to a few dried Oscars also. But I digress.... My own tank was a little more modest and I had somewhat less success in my initial attempts with the life aquatic. We would regularly attempt to catch local native fish down in Kedron creek, armed only with Brett's Kmart crayfish net. We're both tall - I'm 6'1" and Brett's at least 6'3". In those days we were also as both skinny as rakes - unfortunately and area in which I have now exceeded him greatly! So despite the cammo pants, black T-Shirt and fishing knife strapped to my leg, he and I didn't exactly cut imposing figures wading through the creekbed of a fairly notorious park in the middle of the night. Certainly the cops didn't think so. They'd bailed me up at the top of the creek wanting to know what I was doing with a knife in the middle of the night in that particular park. "it's a fishing knife!", I exclaimed. "And the other knife?" "errrr..." I'd forgotten the small paring knife that was on the outside of the sheath. Together they looked a little nasty. "Another fishing knife?". This wasn't looking good. Very firmly I was told to assume the position against a nearby tree for a thorough frisking. Just then, Brett burst from the creekbed. The cops whirled on him and told him in no uncertain terms to stay right the hell where he was. They asked him what we were doing. "Fishing! Look, I'll go get the net!" By by then it was too late. They'd taken in his baggy jumper and the likely looks of clueless na

RichardM · October 2011

A few years back, I was working a job where they just didn't understand what "holiday" meant. I discussed with the girlfriend that maybe we should go overseas. After much discussion, we set on a boat cruise around asia (Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand). After a few nights, we are not sure if it was the sea, or the food, but the missus ended up sitting on the toilet, exploding from both ends. She filled the sink with chunky goodness while I was having a shower in the airport toilet sized shower. The sink blocked up, but not wanting to call room service, I decided I'd plunge it with an empty bottle. It was a fantastic idea, however the sink had an overflow hole at the top. I squeezed the empty water bottle into the sink, covering myself in blown chunks, right after my shower. We still ended up calling room service, who had to completely unblock the drain underneath (which they did without gloves.....gotta love asia). I married this woman a few weeks ago

coffeehorse · October 2011

Kelsey: you worked hard for that. I'm not going to u-fish-surp you. but... I used to keep fish too - the last 6 foot tank I had was home to a single Red Devil. Finding a tank mate or 6 turned out to be an impossible journey - but a fun one!

Koffee_Kosmo · October 2011

It was the night before Christmas 2010 Queensland is wet very wet It was the day a 6 foot Diamond Python snake decided to make my house his/her home Approx 11.30 pm 3 Girls in the family all steaming with shock & cautious fear. This not the first snake visit we have had, its actually the 4th time in the last 10 years Mechanical engineering skills came to the fore while the family was pleading me to get rid of the bloody thing You have to understand that at this point I thought he/she was a baby as he/she did not look that big all curled up As I got close the bloody thing lunged at me and almost bit me I managed to snake charmed the snake & caught the what I still thought was a baby Bull it was bloody 6 foot long Anyway needless to say I spent Christmas Eve & Christmas Day Catching a snake then dropping it off to the RSPCA But the upside to all this excitement is the story when retold with a few humorous embellishments was a big hit at the family Christmas dinner ;D ;D ;D (P.S. If I win I will pass on the prize to Kelsey) Also a fish keeper KK Ohh whats that I hear You want proof Well here is a photo KK

Kelsey · October 2011

on 1319371323:

Also a fish keeper KK

Seems there's a few of us. I wonder if there's some correlation?

Muscles · October 2011

Ya, I am (was) heavily in to fish keeping as well... Here's a funny one for ya. My boss and I have a thing where we sneak up behind each other and lay a couple of knuckle punches in to the unsuspecting victims rib cage - hurts like hell, especially when you are not expecting it. Well, one day I spotted my boss at the local shopping mall, lined up to buy some hot bread. Same attire he usually wears on weekends so I knew it was him. Stealthily I run around behind the donut kiosk, snuck up behind him and while ploughing in to him with several decent knuckle punches I yelled "get some of these into ya!!" He spun around in an instant, arms flailing and screaming back at me, but, in a language I didn't understand... I think it was Mandarin of some sort. :o Anyway needless to say it was a massive case of mistaken identity. It wasn't my boss at all, it was the owner of the bread shop who just so happened to be wearing a near identical outfit to what I commonly see my boss wearing outside of work. I apologized as best I could and ran off red-faced before security came around the nearest corner....

Kelsey · October 2011

on 1319420249:

Ya, I am (was) heavily in to fish keepinf as well...

I suspect there's a level of meticulousness that's required for both fish keeping and coffee that may be the common thread here.... On a sidenote, when looking up the thesaurus for a nicer word to use than I originally had in mind, I found that the word 'pedantry' doesn't really have a negative connotation in the language. It's just our modern usage has conferred that somewhat negative aspect upon it.

shape_shifter · October 2011

Sorry to say Kelsey, I'm still laughing at reading Muscles story :laugh: ...and I too tried my hand at fish...enough said...

Kelsey · October 2011

But the question is, will he be sending the dosing funnel to himself if it's the funniest reply? ;D

Koffee_Kosmo · October 2011

on 1319425082:

But the question is, will he be sending the dosing funnel to himself if it's the funniest reply? ;D

Now thats funny :rofl: KK

Muscles · October 2011

Just quietly, I still laugh every time I think back to that day and the look on the guys face :rofl: but no need to worry, the dosing funnel will be sent out to a member other than myself

madpierre · October 2011

on 1319408205:

Seems there's a few of us. I wonder if there's some correlation?

On my fourth Siamese fighter, two having suicided by too much air aND ended up on the floor and shelf. One went via natural causes. Have just picked up a 54L tank, still researching best use for it.

Kelsey · October 2011

Not Discus.

madpierre · October 2011

on 1319420249:

Ya, I am (was) heavily in to fish keeping as well... Here's a funny one for ya. My boss and I have a thing where we sneak up behind each other and lay a couple of knuckle punches in to the unsuspecting victims rib cage - hurts like hell, especially when you are not expecting it. Well, one day I spotted my boss at the local shopping mall, lined up to buy some hot bread. Same attire he usually wears on weekends so I knew it was him. Stealthily I run around behind the donut kiosk, snuck up behind him and while ploughing in to him with several decent knuckle punches I yelled "get some of these into ya!!" He spun around in an instant, arms flailing and screaming back at me, but, in a language I didn't understand... I think it was Mandarin of some sort. :o Anyway needless to say it was a massive case of mistaken identity. It wasn't my boss at all, it was the owner of the bread shop who just so happened to be wearing a near identical outfit to what I commonly see my boss wearing outside of work. I apologized as best I could and ran off red-faced before security came around the nearest corner....

Similar vein, but maybe a little more dangerous. Was at supermarket a few years (make that many years) back, shopping with then fairly new girlfriend. We had seperated slightly, she to the frozen goods in the floor mounted chest type freezer section, and I was grabbing a couple of things from the shelving behind her. I turned back and somewhat absent-mindedly grabbed and squeezed a little more than gently her beautifully rounded bum. The trouble is, she had moved away to the side and the lady who was now looking for frozen goods spun around like a taipan rearing up. My girlfriend had turned around from her new position and saw the whole thing. Between firstly trying to convince my girlfriend that she wasn't going out with some random perv, and random lady that she wasn't the victim of some random perv, eventually some order was restored with all concerned convinced that I was just a dill.

UNM · October 2011

This is really a story of two halves, you can skip the first part if in a hurry as the real meat of the story is all towards the end, but it helps to understand the background and set the scene. Although I've lived in various parts of the world over the years, I grew up in the west coast of scotland, where haute cuisine was rather thin on the ground and pretty much anything edible would be considered suitable for deep frying. A normal takeaway might include fish and chips, meat pie and chips, haggis and chips, pizza and chips (all deep fried of course). The choice of restaurants was unsurprisingly rather limited. For variety we might get curried chips from the chinese restaurant, but that would be about it. I may exaggerate slightly, but Scotland in the seventies (outside Glasgow and Edinburgh anyway) was not well served for gourmet food. So this was the sort of environment my family was used to. Ok, fast forward and I was living in California in the early nineties, fully adjusted to a somewhat different lifestyle and, with an infant daughter. My parents came to visit (proud grandparents, of course they would). One night they offered to babysit for us, so my wife and I could go out for a meal. Didn't need to ask twice, you couldn't see us for dust (colicky babies do that to you). We chose a moderately upmarket french restaurant, leaving my parents to take care of their own meal (daughter was easy as it was jars of slop at the time). Meal was nice, but not that memorable, although it was great to get an evening off, just the two of us. When we returned home, my mother had a face like thunder and proceeded to inform us of my fathers unforgivable mistake. They decided takeaway was in order and lack of transport meant it had to be within waking distance. No fish and chip shops, only vietnamese, thai, japanese, mexican, indian,.... All too confronting, so an all American pizza was in order - at least they knew what that was. And now we get to the crux of the story. The pizza place was only about 400 yards from our house, so off dad goes to order and bring home dinner. He watched them make a regular American pizza (no deep fryer in sight), plenty of toppings, bake it in the wood fired oven, slice it and box it up. When they handed it over, he tucks it under his arm and walks back to our house. During the short walk back, all the toppings slid off and accumulated in a heap at one edge of the box! Mum was most unimpressed!!!

Muscles · October 2011

A couple of these have made me chuckle to myself already :D

UNM · October 2011

I should probably add at this point that the pizza in question was ordered as a half and half. Half meat supreme, but my mother being vegetarian ordered the veggie lovers...

Muscles · October 2011

Any other funny stories to share? You have today and tomorrow to post and I'll anounce the winner Sunday Morning...

Gra · October 2011

Way back before we were married when I was in to mini

askthecoffeeguy · October 2011

went on holiday recently and stayed with a friend who, er likes to swear a lot needless to say my two year old and five year old girls dont miss a trick so when waiting at the line up in the departure lounge whilst cuddling my two year old - she decided that would be an appropriate time to sing a song at the top of her voice consisting of a single word that rhythms with 'truck' it went something like this: truck truck truck truck truck truck truck truck... I'm sure you get the picture I for one choose to let her sing it and did not make a fuss as if I drew attention to the word in question I'm sure she would still be singing it today needless to say no repeats... except for the other morning when she proclaimed loudly: daddy, where's my 'trucking' sock? :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Kelsey · October 2011

In a similar vein.... my little boy loved fans - still does - because his nanny used to take him around the house and spell out the names of things and he was particularly fascinated with with the spinning thing on the roof - My mum would get to him and say: "F - F - F - FAN". All this unbeknownst to us, so when I tried to teach him how to say another word, this is the result....

Muscles · October 2011

OK, this got hard all of a sudden... but there can be only one winner and the one that really made me chuckle is......... [insert drumroll here]..............this funny fable:

on 1319778338:

Way back before we were married when I was in to mini

Kelsey · October 2011

Good on ya, Gra! I knew you'd get it with that one! :rofl:

Gra · October 2011

Cheers Marc I still have a giggle when ever I think about it... Gra..

madpierre · October 2011

Twas a cracker!!! :rofl: Won by a fraction over the truck song (only a parent will truly know that feeling of the little darling warbling forth something so embarrassing.

Muscles · November 2011

Hey Gra, have you received the funnel in the mail?

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