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Star Schmucks

ReschsmoothReschsmooth
edited January 1970 in Off-topic
Sound familiar:

http://www.scarysquirrel.org/special/movies/foamy/sml2.html

One of the funniest things I have seen recently, on par with the Robyn Williams 'Golf' bit that was doing the email rounds.

It does contain language which may offend, but then again, if you get offended at that, perhaps you drink at Starschmucks anyway (or perhaps I am just being harsh).

Anyway, have a laugh

P
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Comments

  • GonzoGonzo
    Still lolololololololol from this one!!! How true is this ? And as this section of the Forum is for anything, you could try this link: http://www.goingfaster.com/angst/noharley2.html It's hilarious if you are in any way motorcycle inclined, especially if you may be anti HD inclined. Ciao G.
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  • larslars
    Hi Patrick - you may be a reactionary b**stard and an acolyte of Alan Jones, but this is actually pretty good! Lars :)
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  • ReschsmoothReschsmooth
    Lars - you really know how to hit a guy where it hurts.... "acolyte of Alan Jones?". Surely there is a case for defamation, slander or just basic cruelty!  >:( Interested in your comment about 'reactionary', but never mind. P
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  • adminadmin
    Hey Patrick - this is brilliant (unofficially, of course). However, I had a couple of problems with the dialogue - 500g of green beans to the person who can translate the squirrel's first couple of sentences... ciao Admin
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  • GonzoGonzo
    Ciao Admin, if you watch / listen to it over and over you will continue to glean more and more sarcasm and just plain old truthes out of the thing. The part I like best is the one where the squirrel calls the customer stupid. The other part I like is the bit where the shop assistant (sorry, Barrister) tells the client that of she dont buy the carfee, she wont get to walk around holding the status symbol takemeaway cup for all to see just how kewl she thinks she is. This is very serious stuff mainly because it just so true of today's marketing, and the willingness of people to go along with it like a bunch of lambs to the slaughter. I love it, just wish the squirrel would speak more slowly so we can get even more out of it. Patrick, can ya's get us some more of these great little toons? G. Site cynic...and as the squirrel says, I hope ya's all choke on your..."biscotti"! Oops, there goes the cultural cringe again adopting words from another language which is thought of as being more...kewl...than yer own.
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  • adminadmin
    Hi Gonzo - thanks for the pearls of wisdom, but would still appreciate it if anyone could get me the squirrel's first couple of sentences...I've got the rest, but this beginning bit eludes me... Ciao -A ;) PS I'm away for a few days, so would like to nominate FC to put up the prize (500g of green beans) on my behalf - Fresh, is this OK?
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  • ReschsmoothReschsmooth
    Unfortunately, I can't quite get the first few sentences exactly, but I think he says: "I'll have a f@#$ing large ....... coffee, not that sucky 'undertaste' you people have. Spare me the .....' That's the best I can do. But, this, from a US website: "Finding and purchasing the best green beans in the world is the first step that differentiates Starbucks Coffee from the rest of the coffee industry. Starbucks is well-known for its exceptionally high quality coffees, care in selection, and expertise in roast. Each coffee is selected for the defining qualities that distinguish its origin. This careful selection process illustrates Starbucks passion for buying and roasting the world's best coffee." Viva la cynicism. Patrick
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  • GonzoGonzo
    yes yes, all too true, too true... Which is why the mind boggles and finds it hard to understand why they then proceed TO BURN THE LIVING BEEGEESUS OUT OF IT!!!!!! Starschmucks be darned, it's charbucks in the industry. G. PS they didn't happen to mention how every other coffee roaster in the world has access to the very same quality coffees...did they? oh sorry forgot, the quality of one's lounge chairs is much more important than the coffee anyway.
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  • FreshCoffee2FreshCoffee2
    Thought I would revive the competition here...Admin dobbed me in to offer a prize of 500g green coffee beans to the first participant who can translate the first couple of sentences uttered by the pesky squirrel... Patrick had a go, didn't quite get the whole thing, and I've just spent 10 minutes repeatedly rewinding the soundtrack so as to get it word for word. American squirrel speak is a little difficult to understand... I've worked it out word for word so guys, give it your best shot, let us know what it is, and 500g good raw coffee beans will be in the mail to the first person to get it. If the first person to get is not into coffee roasting at home, I'll substitute 500g of nice fresh roasted coffee beans instead. Over to you then... Cheers, FC
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  • pabpab
    here it is... I want a f#$%^&g Large Hazelnut Coffee not that other sucky taste you have
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  • adminadmin
    Hi Pab - very impressive attempt but not quite there...have convened the judging panel to see whether it's close enough. Decision on Monday. -A
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  • pabpab
    Interesting judgement... I'm keen to find out what the decision is. My legal team is ready  ;D Was it 500g of Jamicia Blue Mountain up for grabs??
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  • johnjohn
    Pab I thought that I read a trip for two to Jamaica ;D JD
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  • pabpab
    Cool... I can go twice!!!
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  • FreshCoffee2FreshCoffee2
    Hi Pab, you're close, but not quite there in terms of word for word! I reckon if you or someone else doesn't come up with the ducks guts within say another 24 hours, the prize is yours. Cheers, FC.
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  • adminadmin
    Competition result We have consulted original sources (ancient Sanskrit manuscripts dating back thousands of years) and it seems that Pab was actually correct in his interpretation of the words spoken by the omniscient squirrel...(for the record, FC spent all last week sleeping with headphones on trying to get the definitive wording, but a kind viewer actually referred us to the squirrel's website which had the official script). Therefore Pab is officially the winner of the 500g -congratulations! -A
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  • FreshCoffee2FreshCoffee2
    Ok Ok Ok, there have been some behind the scenes wranglings over this and it has been decided that Pab's attempt is as close as we need (and actually our esteemed Admin has a direct line to god and apparently was given access to a script...can you believe this???). So raise your right arm  and take the bow Pab, you've won. When you're ready contact me offlist with your delivery details and we'll send you the prize! Oh me, Oh my, FC.
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  • johnjohn
    Pab Consmuckulations I had numerous attempts with no luck. Question? How many times did you actually visit the store and talk to the staff??? JD
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  • pabpab
    woo hoo!!! I'll admitt that finding the script was a big help!!!
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  • adminadmin
    Hi there Pab - actually, the reason there was some doubt is that sometimes you do find performers actually deviate from the script - and if you listen closely, there is good reason to say that this is the Squirrel's actual line: "...not that, you know suckie undertaste you people have, f*%*ing nasty, spare me the undertaste" - at least FC thought so (& he did have 3-4 sleepless nights over it), however in the end the official script won on the day. -A
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  • ReschsmoothReschsmooth
    Dang, shouldn't I get something for providing the link to such hilarity (or in FC's case, insomnia)? (When I say 'something' I actually mean 500gm of expertly roasted Jamaica Blue Mountain.... ;D ;D)
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  • pabpab
    Pat, You get the honour of choosing the next competition!!!
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  • FreshCoffee2FreshCoffee2
    Pab, check your post today! Cheers, FC.
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  • ReschsmoothReschsmooth
    A bit more hilarity. For those who get slightly offended by anything not 100% endorsed by Family First, don't bother playing the link. I can guarantee there are no g-string shots either. http://www.illwillpress.com/coffeehouse.html I hope you got a laugh, and were able to forget about all the little stressors we face everyday, including intolerance. Have a grand weekend, and lend your support to the Cammeray Cricket club this Saturday!  8) Patrick
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  • GonzoGonzo
    Brilliant and very much to the point...again. G.
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  • adminadmin
    continuing the theme of reviving some of our most popular threads - click on the link two posts above for scary squirrel II Admin Patrick - do you know why the link to the original is no longer working?
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  • ReschsmoothReschsmooth
    Try this: http://www.scarysquirrel.org/special/movies/foamy/sml1.html A list of Foamy the Skewrl's rants can be found at: http://www.scarysquirrel.org/special/movies/foamy/ Happy viewing. Don't forget the content may contain course language for those who are sensitive. P
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  • adminadmin
    this is pretty good - just repeating the link for those that haven't seen it before: http://www.scarysquirrel.org/special/movies/foamy/sml1.html warning - contains course language! -A
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  • askthecoffeeguyaskthecoffeeguy
    very very funny LMAO!
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