Is coffee a date?

markk · March 2007

That was a subject I recently wrote about on my blog, at http://myopinionsareimportant.wordpress.com/2007/03/22/is-coffee-a-date/.

If you take a girl out for coffee, does that constitute a date? Or does it have to be more involved, such as dinner+movie?

While we are on the subject, which cafes are most suitable to take your significant other to, and are you willing to sacrifice quality of coffee for a romantic atmosphere?

mcbj · March 2007

Oh the enormity of that question :D The easy answer is: it depends

It could be a date or a date warmer. It could be a get to know if they like coffee - if not, do you do dinner etc or just say good-bye. Compromise on quality over atmosphere? Never. Your taste will refect tardy but quality always outlasts glitter.

askthecoffeeguy · March 2007

What are you crazy? Of course coffee is a date for all of the obvious reasons! I mean, what if you said to someone: "Do you want to come back to my place for a coffee?" I'm sure that suggestion implies more than just cookies and cream. Also, if the prospective other says: "Actually, I don't drink coffee," then you can brush them off straight away, and save yourself a lot of time and bother trying to explain your passion to them. Except in the case of my wife, who has half a sip of coffee twice per year, and then stays awake for about a fortnight afterwards... As for sacrificing quality coffee for so-called 'atmosphere' YOU'VE GOT TO BE JOKING HOW CAN YOU HAVE EVEN AN INCH OF ATMOSPHERE WITHOUT QUALITY COFFEE!!!!!!! Besides, who wants to be known as a cheapskate anyway? Also, the apparent lack of decent coffee in your local can provide the perfect opener, along the lines of: "Actually, the coffee around here is pretty crap. I've got my own machine plumbed at home, and I use a single origin coffee which is wild grown and harvested by pigmies in the Papua New Guinea highlands, you really should try it..." See where coffee can take you, to unexpected places? ACG

askthecoffeeguy · March 2007

Compromise on quality over atmosphere? Never. Your taste will refect tardy but quality always outlasts glitter.

What she said! ACG ::)

markk · March 2007

What are you crazy? "Actually, the coffee around here is pretty crap.

markk · March 2007

Oh, and I did find a decent cafe in my area recently! Joy! This is after trying about eight mediocre ones ...

askthecoffeeguy · March 2007

would that cafe happen to be st ali by any chance?

Lovey · March 2007

What are you crazy? Of course coffee is a date for all of the obvious reasons! I mean, what if you said to someone: "Do you want to come back to my place for a coffee?" I'm sure that suggestion implies more than just cookies and cream.

Very true, but the suggestion to 'come back to my place' implies (to me anyway) that you've already been out on a 'date'. I'm with mcbj on this one, in that asking someone out 'for coffee' is more like a 'getting to know you/pre date'. You get to spend some quality time with someone, without the pressure of having to go all the way to the end of dinner if you don't like them. With a coffee there is the 'easy out' option of just having a coffee, then bailing out. Or, if things are going well, then have something to eat, then more coffee, etc. It's a lot more flexible and not as formal as 'dinner'.

askthecoffeeguy · March 2007

Also grabbing a coffee suggests an informal get together, based upon mutual convenience, and not a protracted gathering, in which case one can touch base and establish whether or not their are grounds (no pun intended) for further fricassee. If the chemistry is there then you can plan to do it all over again, or have a longer luncheon at your next exchange. In any case, you will be out and about grabbing a coffee, which, depending upon the establishment, can only be a good thing. ACG

markk · March 2007

would that cafe happen to be st ali by any chance?

No, but I do like St Ali obviously. :D Possibly the best cafe for romance that I know of is The Maling Room in Canterbury: - The coffee is to die for - It has that kitsch Maling Rd atmosphere - The cakes, lunches are also very good, so no worries if your S.O. doesn't drink coffee

askthecoffeeguy · March 2007

Agreed the coffee is to die for but romantic? Come on! There must be some more sexy places out there with coveted little cubby holes where a couple could cuddle in comfort, without undue attention? What about some of those places in the city, located up obscure lane-ways, and behind abandoned buildings? Misty would still have to be a top spot. As would Comme, for all it's la-de-da And batch espresso definitely has the vibrant energy necessary to bring a romantic liaison alive. And sitting out on the balcony at mart 130 in south melbourne is very fine, as is the coffee they serve there! ACG

markk · March 2007

Haven't heard of most of those places ...

JF · May 2007

Definately!! Have you seen the nescafe ads - the guy, the girl, a crap coffee.... you know the rest..

Latina · May 2007

Of course going out for coffee is a date! Why the hell does it now out sell wine in countries such as France - because it's so damn erotic and exotic and totally all consuming - especially when consumed with a slice of chocolate gateaux for example. It's the way to a woman's heart - it also shows you are subtle and have alot more class than the average guy who just wants to get you drunk and take advantage of you!

askthecoffeeguy · May 2007

also, you're choice of a coffee destination, and the ensuring experience, will say a lot more about you than, say going to the movies, where the possibilities of engaging conversation, and delightful banter, are strictly limited! Q) I travelled 10km out of my way to have an espresso @ Batch on Carlisle St., East St. Kilda, at 7.10am this morning, on my own. Does that mean I am dating myself? P

john · May 2007

Nothing wrong with Maling Room for the 'coffee date' bit and then over by the ROASTER at St Ali for the proposal! Then back to Maling Room for the nuptials! Just let us know when, so that we can all tag along! I'll bring the Pinot.

admin · May 2007

I don't know if it means you're dating yourself ACG - probably just not very discriminating about the company you keep! -A

donnas650 · May 2007

In terms of a date, it depends. If you ask someone you are interested in if they want to go out for coffee, then that would be a date, but if you are with someone(say at a tute or lecture) and you ask if they want to get a coffee after class that may not be a date. I love going out for coffee with my mate, and that is definitely not a date. If so, I will be having a date today and my girlfriend will be jealous. haha.

I think if it is organised in advance with a person you are interested in, then it would be seen as a date. Getting a drink(whether coffee or alcohol based, or both) is now becoming an acceptable date over the dinner/movie, opera, etc. In relation to great coffee vs romantic setting, well, that is difficult. How much do you know about the person? If you go out for a coffee, will the other person order a coffee or another beverage such as a tea, hot chocolate or water, etc. There are numerous more intimate cafes in Adelaide such as Spatz and Elephant Walk that you really go to for coffee dates and although I believe both serve good coffee, most people go there for the atmosphere. Tin Cat Cafe is another good one for that. Pretty cool atmosphere with a more intimate setting and a decent coffee as well. If I am going out to get a coffee for myself, I want a good coffee(and the atmospere is irrelevant). If I go out with someone, the atmosphere is more important as they may not even drink coffee. And trust me, if you are paying $3.50-4.5 a coffee(which you do at most places here), no matter how bad it is you won't be considered a cheapskate. Then you find people go to Starbucks for a coffee date and well, will they even touch a coffee? I love Starbucks(not the coffees here in Australia), but the company. I have my reasons. And I will just mention that a Starbucks coffee in Seattle is nothing like a coffee here. It actually tastes like coffee. As does Seattle's Best(now owned by Starbucks). I love coffee. My girlfriend likes it(but isn't as passionate about it as me), and my mate who I go out for coffee with all the time rarely touches it(he had two real coffees this week, which is so rare for a guy who normally has chais or decaf(and hardly ever that)). You can still have great conversations about it, and people do get more of an interest when they are around people who love it. I have two examples to prove it. My mate would even like to do a course with me so he knows how to make great coffee(for guests, etc.). Anyway, I have to go. I have to meet my girlfriend for breakfast including coffee at the markets in just over 2 hours. And I am confused. Is this a date?

askthecoffeeguy · June 2007

i guess the short answer is that it is if you want it to be

donnas650 · June 2007

agree. :D

askthecoffeeguy · June 2007

I don't know if it means you're dating yourself ACG - probably just not very discriminating about the company you keep! -A

Au contraire! the company is scintillating, the conversation animated, and it halves my dining out bill! P

MrNang · June 2007

Agreed the coffee is to die for but romantic? Come on! There must be some more sexy places out there with coveted little cubby holes where a couple could cuddle in comfort, without undue attention? What about some of those places in the city, located up obscure lane-ways, and behind abandoned buildings? Misty would still have to be a top spot. As would Comme, for all it's la-de-da And batch espresso definitely has the vibrant energy necessary to bring a romantic liaison alive. And sitting out on the balcony at mart 130 in south melbourne is very fine, as is the coffee they serve there! ACG

I was out doing coffee reviews recently - coffee didnt quite match the surrounds but great place ... to become better acquainted with a new lady friend. It's called MOO (money order office) on driver lane off ltl collins, near corner of little collins and elizabeth - look for the red carpet, its down a staircase on the right heading toward the strand? arcade. Nice cozy little spot. The cafe at the top of sofitell is also good because of the views - just stick to tea! Best I have found for coziness was actually in South Australia - a place called elephant walk on Melbourne st. Didnt open until 8pm and continued on into the early hours...

coffeebyliana · June 2007

coffee is such a big part of our lives here in australia... you can go to shabby coffee houses or great cafes with the most arousing atmosphere coffee can be a date i guess it depends on the coffee and place

Jen · August 2007

"It's not a date. It's a caffeinated beverage." Okay, I completely plagiarised that line but

askthecoffeeguy · August 2007

i suppose no one asks the question: "is that date caffinated?' but at my work we sell fig and pecan muffins, and the pecans are soaked in organic coffee! so that poses the question: is that pecan caffinated? and is pecan a date? P

Jen · August 2007

Where do you work? Because those muffins sound good!

queen_of_coffee · September 2007

For all the obvious reasons yes. I love coffee dates! Its so much better than going to a movie in which you both sit there and say nothing.

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